This government would gain control
Of every single blinking soul
So as to meet each service goal
They’ve set themselves.
Unless you’re pegged into a hole
They’ll wet themselves.
They’ll watch you closely from your birth.
They’ll take your height and check your girth
And want to know your wealth or dearth
And once they think they know your worth –
For then, to see you progress,
They’ll harass you with frequent tests.
With strong incentives they will press
You to perform.
Beware if you don’t do your best,
Or scorn the norm.
They’ll watch you on CCTV
Catching the seven twenty-three,
So they observe the enemy
Who tries to mug you;
And for your own defence you see
They’ll want to bug you.
Your actions will be open wide,
You’ll take inspections in your stride.
Assume they have already spied
On calls and e-mails.
There’s nothing you should want to hide
In any details.
And no-one may respond to need
Unless it’s what has been decreed,
Then it must happen with the speed
That they have said.
Performance measures are their creed,
And so you’re paid.
And to be sure just who you are
They’ll issue you an ID card
So you can’t travel near or far
Without they know it,
Or walk into a bank or bar
Unless you show it.
They don’t trust us, we don’t trust them;
They make the rules for this sad game,
So someone else takes all the blame –
That’s not amazing,
But lack of trust that brings no shame,
Now that is brazen.
They’ll check the checkers and insist
On knowing all your woe and bliss,
So when you plan and when you piss
They’ll want to watch it.
The only consolation is
They’ll surely botch it.